July 2011
1 post
May 2011
15 posts
Last night I wrote a poem with illustrations called The Legend Of Scrimpy Joe
I shall post it when it’s done
It’s silly and I like it
I have a full time contract now woop de woop
42 hours a week, £6 an hour
I gonna be rollin in dollar
Dyed my hair red
Washed out the dye in the shower
it was a BLOODBATH. Psycho-esque moment.
felt guuuuuuuuud.
Today someone said I should quit smoking because i’m a vegetarian. WHAT A RIDICULOUS REASON. I’m not a veggie for health reasons, i’d probably be healthier if I ate meat. I know smoking is bad for me, especially with my pathetic lung capacity, but I just don’t care!
List of things I dislike about my body
fat feet, bunions, hairy toes, cankles, hairy legs, fat knees, scarred thighs, fat thighs, cellulite butt, big bum, hairy tummy, fat squishy scarred tummy, noisy tummy, flabby mid section bit, weird pigeon chest thing, hairy back, back fat, bingo wings, grey armpits, hairy moley arms, scarred arms, general chunky body shape, manly hands, big spadey fingernails, hairy knuckles, flabby neck, oily...
I want someone who will love me and my scars.
I tell myself I want to help people, I tell other people that’s why I want to be a shrink, but I don’t know.
I think it’s pathetic for ME to seek help. And I push people away and ignore problems.
Yet still I want someone to pick me up and tell me what to do and feed me the right foods and make me take meds and keep me safe and get me better.
Just can’t be arsed to do...
Have you ever laid on your bed at night, and just...
Self Harm Quiz
Age: 19
Label yourself (prep,goth,druggie,weirdo, etc.): Megageek?
How long have you been cutting?: 3 years actual cutting, 5 years self harming in other ways.
Where (place) do you cut? (school,home, etc.): Used to anywhere, school, cinema, town, friend’s houses, etc. Now just my bedroom.
Do you have to hide your whole arm(s) (wrists,forearms,& upper arms etc): Nobody HAS to hide...
Well, fuck.
50 cuts on left thigh (yesterday, more to come tonight)
11 scratch marks on right thigh (couple of days ago, wayyy more painful)
relapse. you sneaky little fucker.
Hmm...
Re-reading through my bio, I see that I may appear a bit of a self-righteous and simperingly sweet individual.
I’d like to remind all of you that this is not the case, I’m actually a grumpy and sometimes selfish youth.
I’ll always “be there to talk to”, but that phrase makes me CRINGE, and I am not really a good person, don’t be fooled!
That is all.
throughmyeyes95 asked: Virtual hug! <3
thewatercolourdream asked: http://thewatercolourdream.tumblr.com/post/4630142726/what-are-the-first-three-things-you-think-of-when-you
if you could possibly help me out that would be wonderful
thanks so much
if you could possibly help me out that would be wonderful
thanks so much
What are the first three things you think of when...
thewatercolourdream:
If you are a visual person, please insert a link or url to an image similar to that of what you see in your mind’s eye. Or if you can’t find an image, just describe it.
Thanks so much, this is part of an assignment so please help out.
1.) I think of a guy with mid length hair, stubble and bright shiny green eyes. He wears normal clothes apart from a scruffy and beaten up...
April 2011
4 posts
Anonymous asked: Hehe Hi! It doesn't really matter who I am :) Hmm, i'm glad you're alright. I'm..okay I guess. I appreciate that you'd ask me aswell, thankyou. :3 You're doing amazingly well btw <3
Anonymous asked: Hii Beautiful! I haven't spoken to you for a couple of days :S How are you doing? <3
too-rare--to-die asked: Hey Eve, nice to meet you, if you need any help with anything ever just let me know, please.
March 2011
24 posts
"when i'm sad i like to cut myself......... ...
onlyhappyinmydreams:.
^this group on facebook pisses me off so much!
doesn’t bother me, I ‘like’ it on fb. Self harm jokes don’t bother me at all, just real prejudice and hate does. There are all sorts of controversial jokes, that’s what makes them funny.. and they’re only jokes :)
just fucking kill me
I just want to be hit by a bus or have a massive stroke or something.
Cannot deal with the most pathetic of problems ie. doing taxes, untidy bedroom —> daydream of dying.
Depression really is one melodramatic son of a bitch.
I finally told my boyfriend I self harmed again.. I told him it was nothing big, just scratched my leg. He acted like he was pissed off at me, said “well you obviously don’t love me if you did it again”, and then when I asked him to be nice he said “well I cant deal with you at the moment I;m going to bed” and hung up, I text him but he didnt reply.
Should I be angry...
Went to the doctor
he gave me some more happy pills yum yum
he said take them for 6 months then we’ll see
half a year??
Reblog this if you self harm/have an eating...
I don’t have an eating disorder
give me cool people to follow?
nice people ?
Anonymous asked: How are you doing today Beautiful? I thought i'd check to make sure you're okay after I spoke to you yesterday.. :) <3
Things I enjoy which are very bad:
1.) cutting. yes I enjoy it- I don’t enjoy having to hide it or the way people worry about me. I enjoy the pain and the rush and the blood and seeing inside my body. I know it’s an addiction that’s why I don’t do it anymore. And I hate talking about it, except on here. It makes everything feel ok for a few seconds.
2.) popping pills. - any kind of pills, I love overdosing...
I have totally lost the abilty to make friends. I think I lost it about a year ago. And even before then I always found it difficult. What do you talk about?! How do you follow on from that onto OK WANNA BE FWENNDS NOW without looking like a total fucking dweeb?
I want to HELP people
but I’m just too tired„ I want to write to everyone I follow and tell them not to give up and how strong they are, because they ARE, and I want to make them smile.. but Im afraid they’ll think I’m a weirdo. My social skills are APPALLING I mean really. I have no friends (seriously none) except my boyfriend and two others who have fallen out with each other. I have no...
Anonymous asked: Well, it's all okay. I just wanted to make sure you know people care and know how strong you've been. It doesn't really matter who I am? Stay beautiful and strong. <3
Anonymous asked: You're so beautiful. You are doing amazing and you can do this. I can't believe how strong you've been, you're truly amazing. Stay strong. <3
Fuck I need my meds back.
I came off about 2 weeks ago (didnt tell doctor), first week I was happy because I thought I’d discovered “life without meds” everything was great, woohoo! BUT second week I crashed so badly, suicidal thoughts and self injury cravings every 5 minutes, panic attacks and crying uncontrollably at work all the time, shaking hands the lot. And now I’ve run out, drs apt on...
you know what I would like more than anything
and this is going to sound really really selfish and attention seeking (because it is)
I want to slash my arms up and then I want my boyfriend to find me on the floor in the bathroom with blood everywhere.. and cry, and pick me up, and bandage me up, and beg me not to do it again.
I would never do it for the attention. But right now I’m not going to lie, I’d enjoy the attention as a...
It’s kind of like letting out a sigh. I get a...
killing yourself
is really really quite difficult to do.
Anonymous asked: You're beautiful. I love you <3
Anonymous asked: I love you Beautiful <3
Help me please!
tell her there’s something to live for. Quick : failingtorecover
teach me how to whisper: March 1st... →
verbaldoodlings:
Today is Self-Injury Awareness Day.
Every year on this day some people choose to be more open about self-harm, and manyorganisations make special efforts to raise awareness. Some people wear an orange awareness ribbon or wristband to encourage awareness of self-harm.
I wear my little ribbon every day. Not many people know what it means but I do :)
Also: I genuinely just...
February 2011
28 posts
Goodnight all
to steal a phrase from emergencyroomromantic.tumblr.com: “stay beautiful”
because you really are, every single one of you :)
xxx
redrooftops:
soulglowactivatur:
riandaws0n:
beendegraded:
if I lived somewhere where Wawa doesn’t exist I’d probably kill myself
YEAH I’VE NEVER BEEN TO WAWA AND MY LIFE IS AWFUL IT HONESTLY PAINS ME AND I’VE MADE IT A GOAL IN LIFE TO GO TO ONE
Wawa = life.
*embarrassed look* what…what is wawa?
Fuck. I need to cut so bad right now.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-
2 days.
2 days without my meds and I get like this again.
Welp, stay on ‘em forever yeah!
Cool.
Oh my god I need glasses so badly
I cannot read tumblr-sized type, I cannot read the keys on my laptop ! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
I have glasses but they’re like, all the way upstairs. And not strong enough.
<3
x